


Don't Deserve You

by LoveFandoms828



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Bromance to Romance, Confessed to each other, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inspired by Music, Kissing, M/M, Pale Scarred Skin, Sad, Scars, Talking, Tears, Warm, comforting and taking care of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:05:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveFandoms828/pseuds/LoveFandoms828
Summary: ‘You're the first face that I see. And the last thing I think about. You're the reason that I'm alive. You're what I can't live without. You're what I can't live without. You never give up. When I'm falling apart. Your arms are always open wide. And you're quick to forgive. When I make a mistake. You love me in the blink of an eye. I don't deserve your love. But you give it to me anyway. Can't get enough. You're everything I need. And when I walk away. You take off running and come right after me. It's what you do. And I don't deserve you. You're the light inside my eyes. Give me a reason to keep trying. Give me more than I could dream. And you bring me to my knees. You bring me to my knees. Your heart is gold and how am I the one. That you've chosen to love. I still can't believe that you're right next to me. After all that I've done. I don't deserve your love. But you give it to me anyway. Can't get enough. You're everything I need. And when I walk away. You take off running and come right after me. It's what you do. And I don't deserve you.’Tony is there for him, like always. Especially in Clay's darkest times.[Slight sequel to 'Let Me Die’]





	Don't Deserve You

**Author's Note:**

> I read a Clony one-shot that I loved, half of this is based off it (:
> 
> Also Inspired by the song ~ Don't Deserve You - Plumb

Ever since that night, two weeks ago, Tony has been watching over Clay a lot more lately.

 

Clay didn't mind it. He wasn't really mad about that, because he understands why Tony is doing this.

 

He knew that the other male was very worried and concerned about him again. He knows that Tony cares.

 

It was natural to feel that way, considering your friend, who you are very close with had tried to kill himself.

 

Tony couldn't get it out of his mind. That Clay had slit his wrists and almost bled to death. His friend’s blood dripping down from his arms.

 

He even had a nightmare about it.

 

Remembering this and Hannah's death, was nearly making Tony die inside.

 

If he hadn't of came over when his friend called him, Clay would be dead right now. It was a relief that he had got to him in time.

 

Tony felt sad and guilty that he didn't notice this. That Clay considered hurting himself, probably losing his mind. Tony was feeling bad.

 

He was failing Clay, like he had to Hannah. He failed her. He didn't save her. He saved Clay and he's always there for him.

 

But, still.. It had been too late and the other male started cutting, if his friend had fainted from blood lost instead of calling him, he'd be..

 

Tony shaked his head, snapping out of it. He was trying not to think about this. Although, it's hard. His thoughts seem to fall there, when he tries not to.

 

He distracted himself from these thoughts, for awhile. He was thinking about something else, a way to help Clay. He has to be there for him now, to not let this happen again.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

**_A few hours later -_ **

 

It was night, cold and dark out again.

 

Tony drives to his friend’s house, knowing Clay's parents won't be here, cause their on another date.

 

It lets Clay be alone, to think about stuff and sleep. He had been doing that a lot lately.

 

Clay was upstairs, in his room. He was walking around, pacing. His cuts had healed, so he didn't have bandages on anymore. There was just scars on the white skin now.

 

He thought about texting Tony. He needed to talk, to get things off his chest and out in the open. He knew that his friend wanted to talk about the night it happened. He was a bit shaky, as he held the phone in his hands.

 

Then, he looked out the window and saw a familiar red mustang. It was Tony's. His friend was here.

 

He heard a knock on the door to his room.

 

“Come in.” he replied

 

Tony walked in there, closing the door behind him. He had let himself inside the house, since the front door was unlocked.

 

“Hey, I came to check on you.”

 

Clay nodded his head. “I saw that. I was actually about to text you to come over and talk..about what happened..” he said to him, quietly at the end.

 

“Oh, really? That's good, because I've been wanting to talk to you about that.” Tony said

 

“Yeah, I know..” Clay said, he really didn't want to talk about it. But, he knew how Tony felt. He noticed what the other male has been feeling. He feels bad that he put him through it again, especially after what had happened to Hannah. It made him feel sad, thinking about that. He takes a breath, looking at him.

 

“Clay, are you okay? Why did you do it..?” Tony asked him.

 

“I'm fine..”

 

“No, you're not.” Tony refused to leave, until they started talking about this.

 

Clay sighed, a bit soft. “You're right.”

 

There was silence between them, for a minute.

 

Until Clay talks again.

 

“I..I felt so sad. I was depressed. I just wanted to numb the pain in my heart, mind, and thoughts. So I decided to hurt myself, to cut.. I didn't know how to talk to you about it, Tony..” Clay sat down on the edge of his bed. He looked away from him and onto the ground.

 

“Clay.. I'II always be there for you, no matter what. You know that.. It hurts me to see you like this.” Tony had sadness in his own heart, concern was clear in his voice.

 

“I'm sorry..” Clay replies at that, in a quiet voice again.

 

Tony's eyes softened. He pulls him over, giving a hug to Clay. He wraps his arms around him.

 

“It's okay. Everything will be, I promise. Stay with me, ok? I'm here for you.”

 

Clay stays in Tony's arms, nodding his head again. He liked this as well.

 

He was so out of it, lost in the moment, that he let something slip.

 

“Tony, I-I love..” He stopped talking and realized what he was saying, as he closes his mouth.

 

Tony glanced over as he stares at him. “Clay?”

 

Clay didn't talk, staying silent.

 

Tony felt his mind was racing. He always had feelings for him. For many years. Although, he kept it to himself. Since Clay is straight, or at least he thought the other male was. He also never said anything, especially now, because recently he had been comforting and being there for him.

 

He feels his heart beat faster.

 

“I love you, Clay. I always have.” he confessed to him. His heartbeat loud, as he heard it.

 

Clay was staring at him again now. He blushed, as his face heated to a reddish shade. He felt his mind fade a lot, for a second. He had only recently found out that his sexuality was actually bisexual and he had feelings for his best friend. But to find out that Tony actually felt the same way, it had shocked him (since he is sometimes oblivious), although he did feel glad.

 

He had a slight smile. “I love you too.”

 

Tony smiled warmly.

 

But then, Clay's smile faded. “But I don't deserve you. You're a nice guy, a good soul. You should be with someone else, not a guy like me, a broken person..”

 

“I don't care about that. I want you..” Tony tried to pull the other male towards him for another embrace.

 

Although, Clay pushed him away. “You could have anyone you want, any guy. So why are you choosing me? I don't deserve you..” he repeated, sadness and sorrow filling his voice. His heart was also filled with a sad feeling, because he actually believe this. That he didn't deserve Tony. A kind-hearted, gentle guy who he's very close with.

 

“Clay, you do deserve me, as much as I deserve you. You deserve love and happiness. More than you even realize. I love you. Only you. I have for a very long time. I will always be here for you.” Tony stared at him. Especially in Clay's blue eyes, which he loved the most. He had a blush, as he leaned in and kissed Clay's lips. He felt how soft they are. He smiles against them.

 

Clay felt tears in his eyes, although he did feel happy with him. That sadness was fading out into happiness. He was kissing him back.

 

Tony slightly deepened that kiss, passionately. It was warm and loving. He still holds him close.

 

He made them lay down on that bed. He pulled apart from the kiss.

 

Clay panted and breathed softly.

 

Tony was still smiling. He leans down, over him and leaves a kiss on Clay's neck. He marked the pale skin there.

 

Clay let out a low noise.

 

Tony grabbed Clay's wrists, gently. He was kissing each wrist, on every faded scar. His kisses are filled with gentleness. He only acted like this around Clay.

 

“You're so warm and adorable, Cariño. I like being close to you, mi amor.” Tony had said, as he spoke more words in spanish as well. He was also leaving a kiss on each of the scars, while he talked.

 

Clay was blushing at these sweet acts and such romantic words from Tony, even if he didn't fully understand them, he did know that they meant things you would say to a lover.

 

He felt safe and calm with him. Tony is like an angel to Clay. He's very caring, had always protected him and still does.

 

Clay gets another smile was on his lips.

 

Tony lays on the bed with Clay, pulling him closer. He was holding him again, affectionately, taking in Clay's warmth and scent. He loves it as well. He also put his fingers through Clay's hair, as he touched it, in a gentle way. His stare was on him, silently. He smiled a bit. He cuddled him.

 

It was nice. Everything felt right and okay.

 

Clay still had a smile, as he snuggled and nuzzled against him. It was like Tony was warming him up even more by just being close.

 

He stayed there, with him. He closed his eyes and started falling asleep.

 

Tony watched how peaceful Clay was now. He kept his smile, still staring at him. “Goodnight.” he whispers, as he gave another kiss on Clay's forehead.

 

Clay had a sleepy smile. “Night.”

 

Tony stays awake for awhile longer.

 

Clay slept peacefully in the other male's arms.

 

They were cuddling with each other for the rest of the night. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending seemed rushed xD I hope that you all enjoyed reading it & loved this anyway :) 😊💕 I just had to write some more Clay x Tony [Clony] ❤ Also, I thought that this song fit them ♡


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